6 Reasons For Refusing LinkedIn Invitations

Posted by Sarah Mitchell on 7 March 2010 | 34 Comments

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Have you experienced an increase in LinkedIn traffic? I’ve been hit with a spate of “join my network” invitations lately. Frankly, I don’t like it. While LinkedIn is a social media tool, it’s not designed for open networking. Mostly, I don’t know the people contacting me. Depending on my mood, I’ll just click on the “I don’t know this person” button. More often, I’ll write to the sender explaining my reasons for refusing the invitation. Last week I got a snide reply back accusing me of not understanding how to network. I think it’s time to explain my position on LinkedIn more clearly.

First of all, this is what LinkedIn advises about connecting with people:

Only accept an invitation if you know the sender and want them in your network.
Accept invitations when:

  • You want to stay in touch with the inviter
  • You know and trust their judgment and expertise
  • You’ve worked with them and would recommend them
  • They know your work and can represent your potential

Do not accept invitations when:
  • You don’t know the sender well (consider replying or deciding later)
  • If you don’t know the sender at all, click on the “I don’t know” button or “Report as spam”

Sensible advice, don’t you think? I follow it. My LinkedIn network consists of people I know personally. I’ve worked with most of them. I feel an obligation to protect the integrity of my network as much for their sake as mine. To that end, these are the reasons why I’m going to refuse an invitation:

1) LinkedIn is a professional network, not a social network. My connections span many industries and locations. It was built through hard work and a lot of sweat equity.

2) I have an obligation to the people in my network. When I add another person, it’s a tacit endorsement of his or her credentials.

3) LinkedIn is not a popularity contest involving who has the most fans or followers. It’s meant to represent a trusted group of people personal to me and my experiences.

4) The LinkedIn Groups provide an opportunity for open networking. I’m active in the groups and accept communication from other members. It doesn’t mean, however, I’m going to be comfortable including all those people into my personal network. It does happen, once in awhile, but not often.

5) If the invitation doesn’t have any specific information as to why you want to connect with me AND I don’t know you, I will refuse the connection every time. When I extend invitations, I always write at least one sentence explaining my motivation for the connection.

6) I’m not looking for a job, I’m not looking to hire anyone and I don’t want to purchase a property so Real Estate Agents, Recruiters, and H.R. people are not going to have success inviting me to join their network.

As with any list of rules, there are exceptions to accepting invitations from people I don’t know.

1) I’m always open to potential business opportunities as long as they’re qualified. I do have a couple people whom I have never worked with but it’s only because the right opportunity hasn’t presented itself yet.

2) I have met people in other social media channels and included them in my LinkedIn network even though I’ve never met them in person. If I’ve been communicating with someone in a different medium, over time I will definitely consider adding them to my LinkedIn network.

LinkedIn is my professional network, anchored by my curriculum vitae (resume). I’m not interested in helping total strangers grow their own network on the back of my hard work. If you don’t know me and we have no potential business dealings, I’m the wrong person to invite to your LinkedIn party. I'm not about to be snide to people but I'm not going to feel pressured to open my network, either.

What rules do you have about LinkedIn connections?


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  • Hi Heather,

    Thank you for your comment. I think a lot of people confuse the real purpose of LinkedIn. In my view, it's meant to represent your existing professional network and reflect your credentials. I certainly feel I've been targeted by people that want to boost the value of their network by connecting with me. I'm happy to do that on my Facebook fan page and on Twitter, but not LinkedIn.

    Posted by Sarah Mitchell, 09/08/2010 6:38pm (1 month ago)

  • Very insightful post Sarah. Too many people view Social Media applications as a popularity contest. LinkedIn, at least gives you the option to say "I don't know you." and let the powers that be know that someone is randomly targeting users.

    Posted by Heather Robinson, 09/08/2010 5:52pm (1 month ago)

  • This is very nice article and thanks for sharing

    Posted by megaupload, 09/08/2010 1:47pm (1 month ago)

  • Thanks for sharing this information.

    Posted by annonces moto, 04/08/2010 12:34am (1 month ago)

  • Hi Will,

    That's the best analogy I've ever heard for LinkedIn. Thanks for that. I'm going to swipe it and use it, especially when I'm speaking to people new to LinkedIn.

    Posted by Sarah Mitchell, 17/06/2010 3:34pm (3 months ago)

  • The 7th reason
    You wouldn't allow a complete stranger who stops you in the street to look in 'your little black book' of contacts....never. So why allow complete strangers to do this by allowing them to become your level 1 contact with all the benefits which accrue

    Posted by Will Kintish, 17/06/2010 1:31pm (3 months ago)

  • Hi Steve,

    Thanks for stopping by and sharing your comments. I had a look at your "Exposing LinkedIn Connection Myths" and appreciate the hard work you've put into this. I'll be using that information to handle objections in the future.

    Posted by Sarah Mitchell, 20/04/2010 5:56pm (5 months ago)

  • Sarah,

    I've been promoting the idea that in order to connect you should a) know and b) trust the other person since I started training LinkedIn users, and the point is central to my book and blog.

    You're not alone;-)

    In fact - the controversy has led me to start a series "Exposing LinkedIn Connection Myths" over on my blog at http://www.linkedinpersonaltrainer.com/

    It's not enough just to say regular LinkedIn users should follow this connection advice, it's time to push back against blanket statements...-)

    steve
    --
    Steven Tylock
    The LinkedIn Personal Trainer
    http://www.linkedinpersonaltrainer.com
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/stevetylock

    Posted by Steve Tylock, 20/04/2010 5:33pm (5 months ago)

  • Hi there, Rapidshare SE -

    You make a good point about exceptions and I definitely support that. When I'm connecting with someone I don't know, I always make sure to exchange emails beforehand to discuss the possbility of connecting. Even though it might be someone I don't know and have never worked with, I want to make sure there's some natural synergy for future opportunity. I think it's just basic courtesy to establish a reason for the connection before inviting a total stranger into my network.

    Posted by Sarah Mitchell, 16/04/2010 11:59pm (5 months ago)

  • I liked the rules a lot. And it is true that there are always exceptions. Well, we shouldn't overlook potential business opportunities.

    Posted by Rapidshare SE, 16/04/2010 11:02pm (5 months ago)

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